


The Universe Made us do it

by Netgirl_y2k



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Aliens Make Them Do It, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-19
Updated: 2010-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-06 11:57:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Netgirl_y2k/pseuds/Netgirl_y2k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Get your trousers off."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Universe Made us do it

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Нас заставила вселенная](https://archiveofourown.org/works/281339) by [thegamed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegamed/pseuds/thegamed)



Donna, to the Doctor’s surprise, didn’t scream, shout or slap him. She simply walked over to the four poster bed, sat down and bounced a little. “This is nice. It’ll do. Get your trousers off.”

The Doctor momentarily lost the power of speech, which for someone who could speak 3,756 and a half languages was really saying something. He regained the power of spluttering. “Wha-- What? What!”

“Doctor, for someone who spends all day every day blithering on about being cleverer than everyone else in the universe, you’re not that bright. You must have noticed that on the last five planets we’ve been to the aliens have demanded we have sex.”

“It has been happening with uncommon frequency,” the Doctor admitted. “And what about that lot who were going on about us being two halves of the same person, eh?”

“They were dead kinky, I think,” said Donna. “Anyway, the point is that the universe seems to want me to shag you, and to get the universe to stop working out ways to lock us in enclosed spaces with few clothes on, I say we get on with it.”

“Hang on, you’ve been the one screaming that there was no way you were shagging my ‘non-existent Martian behind.’”

“Well, that dungeon was really damp. And I certainly wasn’t about to have sex with you when we were strung up by our ankles over that spider pit.”

The Doctor tried to nod in a manner that didn’t imply that he thought upside down sex on the planet of the giant arachnids might have been kind of fun.

“Here,” Donna continued, “there’s a nice soft bed, it’s warm and dry. Your sonic doesn’t work on the lock, and Pinky and the Brain out there certainly don’t seem about to let us out of here until we get on with it. And,” she said in the manner of someone spitting out something distasteful, ”I suppose you’re not completely repulsive in that blue suit.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now get over here, lie back and think of Gallifrey.”

So the Doctor did. Optimistically hoping that if he did well now then he could broach the subject of upside down death defying spider sex later on.


End file.
